Why I loved writing Tear You Apart
Every writer has that one book—the story that refuses to be ignored. The one that demands to be written, no matter the timing, the deadlines, or the obstacles standing in the way.
For me, that book was Tear You Apart.
The Writing Experience That Changed Me
When I first sold to Harlequin, I did it on a three-book contract. One book, Dirty, was finished. I was halfway through a second book (Broken) but had no third book. The deadline for the third book was only a few months after I’d sent in the first two. With two small children at home and a total of about four hours a week to write, I was panicked. Then came the summer with NO time to myself.
What happened?
I put my kids in day camp and every day, dropped them off. Came home. And wrote. And wrote. And wrote. I wrote more per day than I ever had. And that book, Tempted, came out of me…well, I can’t say easily, because while the words came out faster than anything else ever had and without as much effort, the book itself kind of killed me.
To this day, I’d say Tempted is my favorite book not only for the plot or characters, but because of the experience I had writing it that first summer when I didn’t know I could write so fast or so hard. I also loved writing Tempted because it was the first book I wrote to contract, and yet I was still writing for the love of the story, without any expectations from readers or anyone else.
The Inspiration Behind Tear You Apart
Years later, after writing many books under contract, I found myself in a similar place. An idea came to me that I couldn’t shake. I had other projects waiting. I had deadlines. I had obligations. But this story wouldn’t let me go. During a small window of time between contracts, I started writing Tear You Apart.
And somehow, it became both the easiest and the hardest book I’ve ever written.
Writing it, in many ways, was very similar to writing Tempted. Easiest because, like Tempted, the words came out. There were few days, if any (memory can be a fickle bitch, you know, taking away the memories of middle-of-the-book hatred) when I found myself stuck on something, unable to write it.
If anything, most days, I clung to writing that book as though it were going to save my life.
When Writing a Book Feels Like Bleeding
Why? There are always reasons why one book means more than another. Why some words come out easier than others. For this one, for whatever reason, the story was in my head and heart and it needed to come out. Tear You Apart (like Elisabeth says about Will) was all over me like a stain.
But it was also one of the hardest books I’ve ever written. The words came out, sure, but each one felt like I was slicing myself with a razor. If you’re familiar with the original version of The Little Mermaid, you know that she gives up her voice to gain legs to win the heart of the prince, but that each step she takes is as though her feet are being sliced by knives. The theme, I guess, is that great love takes great sacrifice. Love is pain. You will walk on razor blades and broken glass for the sake of love.
And sometimes, you will write a book.
Why Tear You Apart Will Always Matter to Me
Tear You Apart is not a romance, but it is a love story. It’s a love story between the main characters, Elisabeth and Will, who find each other but are not meant to stay together. And it’s a love story between me and the book, which I wrote during most of a hot summer using my blood and tears. And it’s a love story between me and you, readers, because while I’m fond of saying without you there’d be no point in writing, the truth is, I’d have written Tear You Apart even if nobody ever read a word of it, because I had to.
If you read it, if you connected with Elisabeth and Will, if it stayed with you after you turned the final page—thank you for letting me tear you apart.
Thank you for letting this story become yours, too.
“A gripping, lyrical journey into one woman’s turning point in a life half lived.”
— Kirkus Reviews
“Riveting, poignant, and powerful.”
— Publishers Weekly
Winner — 2013 RT Reviewers’ Choice Award: Book of the Year
RT Book Reviews Top Pick
Recipient — RT Seal of Excellence
Publishers Weekly Starred Review
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