Megan Hart

Sorry to anyone who subscribes to this blog via a Feed. I’ve disabled the RSS feed function for now (at least I tried to) because some nasty porn blog (and I do mean nasty — I’ve no objection to porn in general but I draw the line at certain things) has been reposting ALL my content on their blogs without my permission. Despite the big old “COPYRIGHT” notice at the end of each post, the site has been reposting my content in several if not all of it’s “blogs” featuring collected content from porn sites all over.

I’m fairly disgusted. So, until I can get this fixed, I guess I won’t have a nifty, easy feed.

Oh, and speaking of sites using content without permission, I’ve also found out that someone’s using a review I posted on Amazon.com to promote her story. Problem? Well, there wouldn’t be one if I’d actually reviewed HER story. Instead she’s using the words she’s taken from the review, but creative cutting has made it seem like my review and recommendation (which applied to the entire book, not just her part of it) is directly related to her content in the collection. Normally I wouldn’t care — the book, overall is fantastic — but a little common courtesy goes a long way, don’t you think? I mean, I’m sure her story is just fine and dandy but making it seem like I whole-heartedly recommend it when that’s NOT what my review said irritates me. Let ME decide what to recommend, please and thank you very much.

1. Don’t edit my words to give them a slanted meaning that benefits you when the original content would have painted you in a fine light without you deciding to change what I actually said to give my words meaning they didn’t have originally.

2. How about a link back?

So, that’s my Sunday and I’m going to plant flowers now.

M

Current Mood: Angry

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But why, suddenly, are my blog posts showing up fed into porn blogs? I’m getting all kinds of alerts about my posts being cross posted to porn blogs…literal porn blogs, not like, erotica blogs. I didn’t authorize or sign up for any of them — the feeds are getting added somehow!

It’s very odd.

So, if you’re reading this on a porn blog, sorry. I don’t offer free pron. You’ll have to buy my books to get any smutty stuff (though occasionally I do post an excerpt…but even my video blogs are very tame compared to Hot!Lez!Latexxxx!)

M

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Rapidly nearing the end! Less than 30 pages to go. Sadly, that 30 pages is likely to take me until next week to finish, since it’s…you know. SUMMER. Heading off today to my father’s house to let the kids swim in his pool. I have this crazy idea I’ll be able to sit and write.

CRAZY!!!!

But maybe not.

snippet:

Larissa could be cold, and she could be cruel, but now she looked at him with a fondness he’d never thought to see again. “If you’d loved me less, I would have loved you more.”

M

Current Mood: working

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So if you’ve been paying attention, I bemoaned the lack of Superman stripper for my birthday. Well, last night, I got him. My sister

hooked me up with free tickets to see The Chippendales, for free!

So, I’m going to flat out say it. I love strippers. But as far as my stripper experiences (and they have been LEGION) go, this show…wow. I think I’m scarred for life.

First off, don’t open the doors and cram us into a tiny nightclub and make us wait, for, I kid you not, almost TWO HOURS for the clothes to start coming off. Yeah. Those boys had to hawk their t-shirts and DVD’s and raffle tickets, and I do believe they were told “you don’t get to get off that stage pimping your abs until they’re all gone,” because by-gum, they really didn’t. Sorry, even though I didn’t pay to get in, I don’t want to pay $20 for a “BVD” or a t-shirt, until I’ve seen some PANTS OFF.

I was cranky. I mean look, I’m not there to hear singing or lame jokes. Get up on the stage and dance your PANTS.OFF.

So when they finally started dancing, though it, was good.

I mean good as in it was no more than I was expecting. Unfortunately, because there were no seats, everyone had to stand, and unless you were in the front row you couldn’t see very much.

This was us BEFORE we realized the pants were going to take forever to come off.

Smith was having a heavenly vision.

So finally the dancing started, and it was pretty good, from what I could see, though apparently there was bumping and writhing on the floor, which, you know. I couldn’t see. Whatever. THEN they started something called the HOT SEAT (ladies, okay? ladies! — the announcer kept saying it over and over and over and over and over and then one more time) where you paid ten bucks and got to sit in a chair on stage while dancers allegedly writhed around you (but you couldn’t touch them.)

I am not used to being ignored by strippers, particularly when I’ve paid ten bucks to sit in a chair and have them writhe around me. I was ignored! The horror! But then I got some ass shook sort of in the direction of my face, and that was…well…I’m scarred. Seriously. I am ALL ABOUT ass shaking, but…I’m scarred.

Please don’t misunderstand me. Those boys worked HARD. They were SWEATING. And I’m sure it can’t be *fun* to shake your ass in front of screaming women for ten bucks, but seriously… after the merch pimping and the constant interruptions of the show to hawk MORE extra cash-needed things like the hot seat? So. Not. Sexy.

PANTS. OFF.

Oh, let me back up. There was one guy, very tall, very…erm…shell-shocked, who must be new, or the mascot, or just the guy who carries the luggage, because he wasn’t really allowed up on stage to dance, he just got to gather the clothes when they were done tearing them away.

And there was one guy who did a think with a Superman shirt on, and trust me, you won’t be able to tell by the picture, but it was hot. Because Superman is hot.

So anyway, there was more hot seating it and finally at the end my friends got to hot seat it and it looked like it was worth THEIR ten bucks. So. Good!

Oh, and of course there was also Ellora’s Cave’s own: Bobby K who looked really familiar and thank goodness it was because he’s been on book covers, because otherwise…that might have been embarrassing! HAHA.

So afterwards we got our picture taken with them and Nat and I got to sit on Superman’s lap and I have to get a copy of THAT picture. And how nice, he slapped my ass when I got up. Which made me laugh, because, um, yeah, I don’t mind a pat on the ass, but spank it and I want to turn around, pull you by the hair and put you on your knees, because I am the spank-ER not the spank -EEE but well, it was okay because I guess the “ladies, okay” like to get their asses spanked and it was all in good fun.

But after THAT, well, then those boys came out to circulate and mingle and sign their shizz and take pictures with the “ladies, m’kay?” and THAT was worth ten bucks NO QUESTION.

On a side note: ass patting, ok. Ass spanking, meh. ASS POKING!? NO. No, no, NO, no thank you. That’s all I’m saying.

I did have a really, really good time, even if, as far as strip shows go, it totally was the worst, but I’ve been spoiled, really spoiled by my past experiences. I’m not knocking the Chippendales, mind you, the guys were cute and they worked hard, but really. C’mon. Start the show on time, make sure everyone can SEE and don’t pimp so much shit. I’d have spent more money tucking dollar bills into g-strings than I did by refusing to pay for t-shirts and crap.

But, that was my night.

M

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…yeah, the one giving away copies of ALL or nearly ALL my e-books for free at that download site…

You suck.

You are stealing from me.

I repeat: YOU. STEALING. Not just from me, but from my publisher and editor, too. You’ve taken something I worked hard to create, and you’re NOT just loaning a copy to a friend. You’re providing multiple copies to as many people as want to take the time to STEAL my work.

You suck. You’re not a fan. You’re nothing but a leech, a thief and a jerkwad.

Frankly, I hope your computer gets a virus.

SORCHA. Yes, you, SORCHA THE THIEF from that file sharing site.

I know who you are. And you suck. You stink. You’re an ass.

And I suppose you don’t give a damn, but if you keep stealing my work and distributing it for free so nobody has to pay for it, they won’t pay me any more to write it, and then I won’t do it any more and you won’t have anything left to steal. Hell, maybe you’ll start knocking over banks to get your crappy thieving fix.

M

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It was my birthday and no stripper who looked like Superman came to my house.

I’m just saying.

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Look, I’ve had people say nice stuff about me, and my books. And I thank them. I appreciate it, I really do. And I don’t even think they’re full of crap , mostly. I mean, I’m GLAD when someone says something nice about my books (or me) and I’m really happy to please readers.

That’s a totally different thing than ME telling YOU how great I am. And you know what else? Let me be the one to tell you how great you are. Because if you tell me how great you are, I’m just going to roll my eyes and mock you on my blog.

M

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So, right now I’m a little sad.

Did you ever really love something, a whole, whole lot, and then…something happens, something stupid, and you don’t love it so much any more but you’re still LOYAL to it and you still want to love it but then something else REALLY stupid happens and no matter how stupid you know it is, you still discover you  might not love what you loved any more.

That happened to me this weekend.

And I won’t even say what made it happen because it’s super stupid and really, really lame, and it’s sort of that kind of thing that is based entirely on conjecture and circumstance and you have no idea if what you think about it is the truth but it just sort of keeps on feeling that way.

Needless to say (though I said it anyway) I feel sad because something I loved a lot, really, really a LOT, like…loyally and passionately and something I really got a lot of inspiration and joy from…no longer makes me feel that way.

And I’m sad because it’s been a few years now, that I’ve loved it. And to not love it any more is disappointing.

M

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You know that dog crap that ruins your favorite pair of shoes? That’s you.

And because she said it so well, go read what my buddy thinks about you, here.

If you download books from the internet without paying for them, you are stealing. And that makes you a thief. And therefore, you suck. And I don’t care if you don’t like to hear it; frankly, I hope you stop reading my books. Because if you’re stealing them by downloading them from peer-to-peer or file sharing sites, you’re not a fan. You’re not a “reader.” You’re the dog crap ruining my shoes. I don’t write for you.

I’ll echo what Lauren said: I won’t apologize for wanting to be paid for my work. I pay other people all the time for the work they do or the services they provide. I don’t go to the store and stick a book in my purse and walk out without paying for it just because I want it and don’t have the money for it.

It’s called theft, and if you’re doing it, you suck.

M

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What is UP with customer service these days? Or rather, the lack thereof?

It’s very easy to keep my business. I’m lazy. I don’t like to change providers or credit cards or whatever. If you make it easy for me, I’ll stay even if somewhere else I could be getting a better deal. But make it difficult for me and I will not only cancel my service with you, but I will NEVER NEVER NEVER again buy your product.

Yesterday I — no joke– spent HOURS on a livechat trying to figure out how to get my battery backup surge protector to work. It worked before. Then I had to replace the battery, which I did at no small cost. Then it wouldn’t work. Would.Not.Work. Spent a couple days emailing tech support and finally got into livechat where the supposedly tech-savvy support proceeded to tell me what the problem was. (Which is what I’d just said — it doesn’t work. It used to work. It doesn’t work now. No, I never had it hooked up to the computer via a USB cable before, nor did I have to use special software which –what’s that you say? The latest software download doesn’t support my OS? Well, no wonder the battery backup isn’t working - except oh, I don’t know, what about the fact it WORKED FINE LAST WEEK.)

Yeah.

He argued with me on live chat. ARGUED. About what the problem was. I know what the problem is, m’kay? It doesn’t work, and I never had to jump through hoops before to make it work, why should I now? Oh, and by the way? Offering me a refund on your product that doesn’t WORK but charging me to return it AND a 15% restocking fee? UNACCEPTABLE.

I told him I’d be taking my business elsewhere, emailed the tech support the same thing. Guess what? Since then I’ve had, no joke, FOUR emails from tech support giving me advice. It’s pretty much the same advice over and over, solving the problem that’s NOT The problem — and sorry, I don’t have a piece of crap Windows computer to hook it up to, buddy, that’s the POINT. When you tell me it doesn’t SUPPORT MY OS (though funnily enough, it did last week) that tells me it’s not going to work, and I’m out almost fifty bucks. So the livechat dude emails me to tell me that “I understand your decision is primarily due to lack of proper guidance of features and compatibility and use of acssociries in the Box.” (sic)

Look, fine, whip yourself with the rushes, IT’s TOO LATE. I already bought another product, which I already told you AND the other dude from tech support. TOO LATE. You couldn’t fix my problem, but that’s not why I went with someone else. I took my business to another company because you couldn’t offer me the simple common courtesy of “we’re sorry this product doesn’t work. Please return it and we’ll refund your money” WITHOUT a restocking fee.

So today I get on the horn to cancel my American Express card. I have two, you see, since Costco seduced me into getting a business card to get a better gas rebate or whatever. I tried to cancel the other one months ago and was advised to at least wait for my rebate check, which just came. Makes sense, right? So no problem, I just haven’t used the card these past months. So I call to cancel it.

I SHIT YOU NOT, the customer service person ARGUED WITH ME. ARGUED.

I don’t think I can adequately express my slow-simmering fury without the use of cuss words.

What.The.Fuck.

She tries telling me I can *only* use the business card for business expenses and I still have personal expenses so therefore, need a personal card. What are they, the credit card gestapo? Excuse me? I have a home business, okay? Anything I buy is “business.” WHATEVER.

She argued with me. Ten minutes on the phone trying to cancel the goddamned credit card in which I kept saying “I don’t need two. I do not need two. Cancel the personal one.”

At one point I actually had to say “I’m totally not following your logic.” (She was rambling about business and personal and they’re both free cards, so what’s the harm in having two?) I said, “I do not need two American Express cards. Please cancel this one.”

THEN…THEN!!!!! THEN! (and oh, the fury is rising) she says “It’s already canceled. Have a good day. Good bye.”

Where is the simple “thanks for your business, yes, I can completely understand why you don’t need two identical credit cards from the same company. Thank you so much for choosing to keep at least one of our cards.” Or whatever.

And that was my morning so far.

M

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