Who are you?
Ah, the age old question. Well, the easy answer is Kendra Julien. The harder answer? I am a woman who is married to the most wonderful man on earth. And that’s not the “honeymoon” period talking. We’ve been married for a year and almost 6 months, but together for 5 years this March. We’ve been through REALLY bad times, but came out on top and I think that’s what matters.
I am a mother-to-be and my excitement for this baby grows with my belly.
I am a survivor. I fight back when life side-swipes me. I refuse to give up on something just because someone “said so.”
I am a tactfully honest person and will never lie to you.
I am an amazing friend to have (not to toot my own horn or anything…).
I am someone who loves to just relax and have a good time.
I am one of those people who probably laughs too loud and too often, but just try it sometime… you’ll be surprised at how damn good it feels.
I am an optimist, despite being disappointed in people more times than not. As I said, I refuse to give up on something – especially something as fundamental as believing people are good.
I am loyal and loving.
I am an animal lover.
Simply put, I am me.
What do you do?
Oh, ha ha. We both know I do nothing. For those of you that don’t know, in December of 2006, I was hit by a drunk driver. I broke both my ankles, the left much worse than the right. I had to have two surgeries on it. I spent roughly 9 months in a wheelchair and started walking again (albeit, slowly, and with a lot of help) in August of 2007. I still can’t return to work because, while I can walk with a cane now, I can’t stand or walk for more than 20 minutes and sitting with my legs below my hips causes my ankles swell and be in pain. So, unless I’m at a desk like mine (that has a special table sort of thing underneath the desk for my legs to go), I can’t sit at a desk.
So… I sit around the house. I read. I watch TV. I write. I take care of errands and bills and other household things. I hire cleaning people to clean for my husband and me, since I can’t and my husband works long hours. I take care of my two cats and plan things for my future daughter. But, basically, like I said… nothing. LOL
We met online and it was wonderful – do you meet a lot of people online?
I’ve actually met a few people online. I met one of my best friends through MySpace almost 3 years ago. I also met another author I like and even met up with her in person – just her and me at a Starbucks talking for hours. I met you and spent a lot of time talking to you over the internet. I can’t remember off the top of my head anyone else that I’ve met, but considering the amazing people I’ve met so far, I’m definitely up to meeting more!
You’ve shared with me some of your personal writing. Do you aspire to writing fiction?
The writing I shared with you was from my accident. When I was younger, I wrote poetry and short, fictional stories. This was the first time I had written non-fiction, something that didn’t just appear in my head. I think it’s harder to write non-fiction than fiction. I have so many ideas for fictional stories, but writing something that’s true… it’s much harder. I can’t accurately describe it. Most people’s true stories are painful. When something that painful happens to you, you either process it or push it into the deep recesses of your mind. I think I did a combination of the two, which is probably why it both hurts and feels cleansing to write about the accident and how it changed my life and the lives of the people I love. If I ever finish this book, I don’t know what I’d want to write, fiction or non-fiction.
What kind of writing do you want to do?
Well, I kind of already answered this, but I guess I’d like to write something that changes at least one person. Something that makes them think about who they are and what they believe in. Fiction or not, it is possible. You’re books did that to me. Made me shut the book at the end and stare off into space thinking. Not just about the story you wove, but my life, my ideals, my goals. Augusten Burroughs’ books did that too. They were his life story (except for two of them, I think), and they made me stop and wonder, as well. That’s the kind of writing I want to do.
What do you like best about where you live?
Nothing! LOL. We’re moving on March 1st and I can’t wait to get out of here. Not only do we need more room for the baby, but the complex is falling apart and has a handy man who is about 70. When he comes to fix something, he winds up making it worse. The neighborhood is pretty shady, too, which is another reason we’re moving. But the new place? I like that it’s in a good neighborhood, has more room, has a dishwasher (the past two years we’ve had to hand wash… ugh), has air conditioning, and is just nicer.
Dean or Sam?
Oh….. Dean! Definitely Dean. No offense Sam, but I had a crush on you when you were (get this) Dean on Gilmore Girls. It’s someone else’s turn. And besides, my husband says “Dean” (AKA Jensen Ackles) is my “one.” You know… the “one” you get to have without it counting as cheating.
Vanilla or Chocolate?
Chocolate everything except for ice cream. I don’t know why, but it just doesn’t taste right as ice cream.
Top or Bottom?
Yeah! Sexy questions! Gotta love ‘em. Hmmm… Well, even when my ankle could bend the right way to be on top, I still didn’t like it as much as being on bottom. Of course, how can you like anything more than something you love?
You’re standing in front of three doors. What colors are they and what’s behind them? And which do you open?
For me, one would be red, one purple, and one white. The white door would lead to somewhere calming to me, like Hawaii, or my bath tub. I was diagnosed with being bi-polar when I was younger and calm is something I strive for, not just in life, but in my head.
The purple… I think a movie of my life would be playing behind that door. Purple has always been my favorite color, and like many other things in life, I believe a color can mean more to a person than simply being a color.
The red door… That would be a door leading to my husband. Red can encompass both passion and anger, and anyone married or in a long term relationship knows that both are present in a relationship. We, luckily, have about 90% passion and 10% anger in our relationship… now. And by passion I don’t just mean sex. I mean a passion for loving each other, for striving to make each other happy EVERY DAY, not just on certain occasions. I think the accident made our relationship mature a lot quicker than normal and showed us that we can make it through anything. When you know that, you don’t worry about the little things. You focus on what matters – each other. I never realized that if you strive to make someone you love laugh, everything else just falls into place. My favorite thing is to make Matt laugh, to see him smile. Seeing him happy and knowing I caused it makes my heart ache (in a good way).
I’ll always pick the red door… Calm can be stifling if sat in too long. It can also be found when you lay in bed with the love of your life, just talking about what’s currently playing on the TV. I don’t need to see a movie of my life. I try not to live in the past, but at the same time not forget it. And I live in the present fully because I know, from experience, it can all change in a second. The future? Eh. Who cares? I’m happy now… nothing is threatening that and that’s all I need to know. But my husband? I will always want and need him. Not the co-dependent way, though. I will always need that love from him, and, in the future, if he’s not around, I’ll still know I have it. So… the red door. Always the red door.
What’s your philosophy on life?
For once, I have a simple answer for that: I don’t have one. I have many. I think one philosophy cannot accurately describe or guide a person’s life, and because of that, I think at least 10 philosophies are required.
Anything else you’d like to share with the world?
When you find someone you’re supposed to love like I love my husband, it’s not love at first sight. I used to believe in it. But when I met Matt, I didn’t feel it. I didn’t automatically know he is my soul mate. But I knew something. Something that told me that he was different and he was special. It wasn’t even lust at first sight (although, there was plenty of that). I can’t describe it except to relate a story: My best friend of 10 years now, Dahlia, is hot. Always has been, always will be. In all the years that we hung out, I never minded that a guy we met was instantly attracted to her and not me. It never made me jealous or feel bad about myself. When I met Matt, Dahlia wasn’t with me and Matt didn’t even seem attracted to me except as a friend. One night, I picked Dahlia up and we were going to the pool hall, which is where I had been hanging out and had met Matt. I told her on the way there, “Listen, I’m going to introduce you to someone tonight, Matt, and he’s dating a girl who works at the pool hall. But something tells me they’re not going to last more than another week, so I want you to know… Stay away from him. He’s mine.”
Dahlia couldn’t believe it. She looked at me and said, “You’ve never laid claim to a guy. You’ve never called dibs or anything like that. What’s the deal with him? Is he, like, movie star hot?”
I told her something like, “He’s hot, but not movie star hot. There’s just something about him. Something different.”
A week later, he asked me for my phone number. A few years later, he cheated on me. (This would be the other REALLY bad thing our relationship had to endure.) But, even after everyone telling me to move on, I kept saying to myself, “We’re meant to be together. I just know it. It may not be this lifetime, but at some point, in some life, we’re supposed to be together.” Six months after he started cheating on me, he came back. A year to the day later, we got married. It was hard to move past that and gradually trust him again, but I never gave up. I knew he was the man for me. I will never regret my decision and anyone who knew us then and now knows that our relationship is different. It’s stronger, better, more loving than it was when we first said we loved each other. I trust him with everything I have now, and more. And even though he cheated on me before, I would honestly be more shocked now than I was then if he did it again, which he never will. I can even understand why he did it. Loving someone as much as we love each other is scary when you’ve never loved anyone even a little. Not that it’s an excuse, but testing that love, making sure it’s real, or simply being scared and running from it is completely natural.
So, in closing… when you meet that person, don’t expect to be bowled over. It’s not going to happen. But you’ll know. Something will just feel… different. Better. Right.
Sincerely,
Kendra Julien
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