Megan Hart

I didn’t know you when you started.

Oh, I saw the articles in Entertainment Weekly, heard the buzz. But you came on in a time when I didn’t watch television, had no Tivo to help me. I didn’t care much about you, in the beginning.

And then…Netflix came into my life. That saucy whore. Teasing me, tempting me with unlimited rentals of programs I’d heard about but had never watched.

Like you.

So…yeah, I rented you at first. Just one disc. I said, “hey, if I don’t like you, I don’t ask you out again.” I didn’t know when I slipped you into the DVD player, slowly, carefully, that you’d turn out to be so. Damn. Beautiful. That first season murdered me. Tore me up, slit me open and sewed me up again. I screamed, I cried, I writhed.

I fell. Hard. Fast and deep. All the way.

Dr. Troy? Yes, please. Over and over again, and then one more time? Break my heart, please, because it yearns to be broken by the likes of you.

That first season was some of the most balls-to-the-wall, over-the-top, outrageous, horrifying, tantalizing, scintillating and sometimes disgusting television I’d ever seen. Oh, sure, you were too much to believe. Sure, you took everything that was good in anyone and turned it bad. I knew I could count on your characters to always make the wrong choices, no matter what.

You have no redeemeable qualities, Nip/Tuck. You know that? You know you’re filthy and unrepentant, don’t you? Just like you know you have me begging for more every single time you’re on.

Season two was next, and I ate that season. Oh, I didn’t rent any more. I had to OWN YOU. Yes, Nip/Tuck, you’re my filthy, nasty habit. I could watch you over again…and here’s a secret…oh, yes. Yes, I did. Snuck peeks at you during the day when I was supposed to be writing. “Research,” I called it. But we both know I lied. That’s what you do to me, Nip/Tuck, you turn me into your dirty, lying whore, and I LOVE IT.

Got caught up just in time for Season Three on broadcast, and with the help of some strange gadget called a DVD recorder (NOT A DVR, no, baby, this thing actually used RECORDABLE DISCS) I was able to keep up with you every week. Oh, sure, the dvds never recorded right and the timer was always off. Sure, I had to scream myself hoarse with frustration when I missed you. Thank God FX played you so many times I could always catch up.

This is it, Nip/Tuck. I wasn’t with you from the start, but I’ve been with you a damn long time. I’ve cried. I’ve laughed. I’ve cringed. I’ve stayed with you through every single unbelievable, repulsive story twist and plot line. I kept up with you even when Sean and Christian moved to L.A. because…how fucking ridic was that? But I was there with you. Loving you. Yearning for you. Aching to be filled with your weekly dose of OMG WTF.

And now…

Now, we say goodbye.

There’s only one episode left. And I can’t watch it. I can’t. I cannot bear to watch you end.

Christian, Sean, Liz, Julia, Matt, Connor, Annie, Kimber…none of you could ever get your heads out of your asses, and with one more episode to go, I don’t see as how you possibly CAN. But I guess that’s okay, because it would be unfair to expect any of you to get it straight after so long.

And after all, isn’t it what I so loved about you? Your constant flaws? Your never-changing lack of common sense?

Oh, Nip/Tuck, my dear Nip/Tuck…my beloved Nip/Tuck. I weep in advance at the thought of losing you. You were the one show I cheated on Supernatural with. The one I have to watch. Must see. Can’t be without.

I’m going to miss you.

<3,

M

What, it’s not enough to seduce me, you have to tease and taunt me, then leave me weeping, writhing, screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

Yeah, eff March 25th, bring me more Supernatural next effing week!

I *loved* this episode. My Bloody Valentine, anyone? Oh, haha, so clever. *snerk* I mean, starting off with a pretty steamy (for Supernatural) sex scene that was NOT including Sam or Dean sort of made my insides shrivel, but when they started eating each other…wow.

I was eating during this episode, and lemme tell you, I was disgusted.

I loved it! So much to love. So gross. So many funny lines. Cupid of course knocked my socks off with his naked bear hugs and intrusion on Dean’s personal space. Castiel — “They’re not incontinent.” BWAHAHAHA! Oh, God, Misha Collins, you slay me. Seriously. The writers write the lines, but the DELIVERY, oh, my goodness.

They worked through the mystery, figured out what was going on, it all tied in nicely with the overall arc, Sam drank demon blood and though I know it’s wrong, oh, how I know it’s wrong…Evil!Sam, with the one hand out and the sneer, I’ll wait my turn if that’s what you want. I know it’s wrong to like Sam slurping demon blood but…well…listen there are a lot of reasons why the bad boy trope is so well-loved and it makes it even better when the damage is something he can’t help. So, bonus points for Evil!Sam! Hooray!

More demons, more nasty stuff, Famine’s teeth seriously made me want to barf. He reminded me of the guy from Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and that really really old decrepit guy with the creepy voice…I can’t remember what movie he was in or what his name is…dangit…he made a career out of being old and decrepit and creepy in a wheelchair being evil and gross! Well, Famine reminded me of him. AND IT WAS GROSS, Y’ALL.

And then the end.

Dean. Oh, Dean. Dean, Dean, Dean.

Dean.

I stopped watching Lost because Jack cried too much, but I could watch Dean’s eyes well up every single freaking episode and want to cradle him to my bosom and comfort him and tell him it will be okay; but of course it won’t, you know, it’s the motherfucking apocalypse, son, and you and your brother CAUSED IT.

Jensen Ackles, seriously? Why are you so good at breaking my heart? WHY?

So that was last night’s episode, and now I have to wait until March 25th for a new one. Yeah. I am sad.

Not quite snowed in any more, but still have work to do to make up for the snow days. Twenty pages a day, dolla dolla, holla holla. Gonna finish COLLIDE next week or even this weekend, depending on the craziness that ensues (I don’t usually write on weekends but if the family goes skiing or some such thing, I will work.)

Today I also have to clean my house, because…ew.

M

also, this:

— photo taken by my friend Scott Church.

And this makes me smile.

Well, I cleaned off my desk today, and let me tell you something. It always takes a really long time. I also did laundry, and that takes a long time, too! Which makes my eyes all squinty, the laundry and the cleaning.

I also edited a Spice Brief called The Experiment and sent that off to my editor; so that’s what I do instead of watching The Super Bowl. I work. Oh, I did play some Sims 3 earlier today, but I don’t really count it since I was actually editing while I just let my Sim lady go about her business.

She discovered a star.

I know, right? Who knew they even could? Left to her business, she will play her guitar a lot and flirt with people. She also apparently likes to discover stars. And she found some seeds, but I don’t think she’ll plant them. Well, maybe she will, I don’t know.

Tomorrow I aim to get up at a good time (instead of letting the alarm just go off, then again, then again later…) which means I intend to get to bed very shortly. Which is also what I’m doing instead of watching the Super Bowl. Going to be early. I believe I shall read. Now, I just finished Under the Dome which was a doorstop of a book, my God, over 1000 pages, really? REALLY?! And I think I’m going to read The Lightning Thief or possibly The Dead and Gone next. Because I feel like it.

On the other hand, if I’m going to dive back into Collide tomorrow, I really should read through it to refresh my memory. So maybe I’ll take that to bed with me instead, and go over it.

See, that’s what I do instead of watching football.

I work!

M

First off, I have the great pleasure of announcing that my spec fic novel, EXIT LIGHT, has been acquired by Carina Press (no word on release date or anything like that, but I’ll post updates as I find out more.) Exit Light is not romance, not erotic…it deals with the dream world and I’m very excited that it will get some readers!

For those of you who like my Spice books, you can look forward to another three over the next…gosh…I dunno how many years. Three more in addition to the two that aren’t out yet. Just found out yesterday, so that’s super exciting news, too! Hooray!

Hooray!

Haven’t done a lick of writing work today, nor did I watch a movie that I wanted to, so where did the time go? Oh, and I HAVE TO MISS SUPERNATURAL TONIGHT. This is a tragedy of epic proportions, believe me, I can’t really believe it.

M

Yesterday was an epic day. Forty pages. Yes, 40. Yesterday, I wrote more pages than I have lived years on this earth. That’s about 10,000 words, btw.

So, yeah, that was a lot.

And then, brain broken, I watched EQUILIBRIUM so I could recover.

The problem with watching Equilibrium is that I suddenly want to dress like a Grammaton Cleric. Okay, maybe I really want Superman to dress like a Grammaton Cleric. But I want a cleric’s coat, or jacket, and thus led to the internet search for such a thing.

You can actually buy one.

It’s not really what I want, though. I want more like…a jacket. Or something like this, really. See that? That’s my porn, right there. (NO. Not the MAN, just the OUTFIT. Not the OCCUPATION. Just the CLOTHES.)

So, yeah. I have to get off searching the internet for a place to find a really cool cleric’s outfit, because yeah, I totally NEED ONE OMG. *eyeroll*

How about this. Oh yes. OH YES.

You see the problem?

Don’t even get me started about how Superman started imitating Bale’s “goood for youuuuuuu” last night and I srsly almost lost…something…

Yeah.

I don’t think I’ll be doing 40 pages today. I’ll be lucky if I get a shower and put on some clothes.

M

Oh, also? Want this.

This is one more reason (um, aside from the fact you were um, well, you know, SUPERMAN) that I adore you.

There’s a cool new game, available now: — romance lovers, take note! With short stories by Natalie J. Damschroder, Victoria Smith, Misty Simon, Dee Tenorio, myself and a few others, this game is fun, challenging AND relaxing, plus the more you win, the more stories you unlock! Check it out!

M

Wow, holiday schedules are a beyotch. Kids off from school, travelling, cooking, not writing…I’m all discombobulated and I still have a kid at home today. And tomorrow. OY.

So, before I go take a shower and get started on the day, here is a blog post to get me situated back in the reality of WORK and not PLAY.

Review of No Greater Pleasure

SWITCH is up for pre-order and wow, look at that price!

NEWLY FALLEN — available now!

Get 25% off DEEPER!

For audiolovers — — Woooo! Reason Enough, Layover and This Is What I Want on Audio! If you like that sort of thing. Sorry I can’t get a pretty linky type thing with a graphic and whatnot, but iTunes won’t let me.

And thanks to everyone who helped make THIS possible!

Ummm…LOL!!!

Buy this album:

Also, buy these albums.

Also:

FORON = “f-ing moron”
I’m not sure, but I believe I might have invented this word. Take it. Use it. Spread it throughout the universes and beyond.

Also:

I love my living room.

So, now I’m going to take a shower, get some coffee, some oatmeal, and get past the halfway point on COLLIDE.

M

Phew. Got my 20 pages done and guess what I LIKE THEM. WHEEEEEEE!

Favorite line of the day: “If I were famous for dangling my dingle I might not want anyone to notice me, either.”

Also, Beth Keryis giving away a copy of Deeper! Head on over to her blog to check that out. Thanks, Beth!

Hmm, what else? Well, if you look over in the sidebar, I’ve started to do some fun stuff on eHow.com and Squidoo. Why? Why not? I like writing articles and talking about stuff I like. I like reading about stuff other people like. If you head over and check out some of my articles, and you like what you see, please feel free to rate them. I’m told the better the articles are rated or the more people who recommend them, the higher they show up on searches or something like that. Which means, I guess, more people would read them?

Something else that’s just for fun: I put up a short story collection on Amazon.com for the Kindle. It’s called Skewed Universe, and really, these stories are NOT for the squeamish. They’re a little horror, a little romance (but dark romance, not happy), a little paranormal, a little just…well, if you like strange, skewed stuff, you might like to check it out. It’s only a dollar!

I didn’t get my nap and now it’s too late. I’m off to edit a Spice Brief and percolate tomorrow’s 20 pages on COLLIDE.

M