Megan Hart

I can’t stand the love! I CAN NOT STAND THE LOVE ANY LONGER!

IT IS LIKE ACID IN MY MOUTH!

I’d ask someone to save me, but frankly, I kinda like being killed.

Third day of the new schedule. Third day in a row I got up and exercised (I’ve started watching Dead Like Me while I ride my stationary bike. One might imagine this is a good way to pass the time while exercising, and it would be, except inevitably I am interrupted at least four times by people leaving for work/school, having to drive someone to the bus stop, supervise the packing of lunch, etc.) But hey, I’m trying. The show is interesting, too.

Yesterday I wrote 24 pgs, much improved over the past few months where I wrote barely anything. And here’s the problem…I had great and glorious dreams about writing this book just for me over the summer, at a fairly “slow” pace (didn’t know it would be fucking GLACIAL) and then start the new school year with my contracted work. Well, that didn’t really happen so much. Got side tracked, did other stuff, didn’t finish.

I’m on the downward slide now, though. It’s about half finished, I have the end in sight. I like it. I like it very, very much. And I know if I don’t finish it, I will have one more 3/4 finished book that won’t ever sell. I need to finish it, polish it, get it out there, because though I might be able to sell it unfinished it will be much better if I finish it first. And I want to, I will, and I keep fooling myself I have enough time to do it.

The problem is, I have a deadline in January and one in March, and I’m pretty sure it’s the 1st of those months, not the end (which I HATE!!! HATE HATE HATE, please remind me next time to make sure the deadlines are the LAST day of the month!) and that means I really need to finish the Jan. book by December (traditionally a lost month) and work my butt off in Jan/Feb. I don’t like skating that close to the edge of deadlines; I fear something happening that will prevent me from writing. And now I feel like a stooge for fuddling around all summer and not “working” when mostly what I did was try to work or think about working and then only doing a little bit of something that wasn’t much work. OR not work. It was something muddled in between!

The good news is, I had an interesting dream last weekend that’s set up something fun, and gave me some information about my next heroine for Spice. Now I have her name, I have her family information which explains a lot about why she agrees to do what she does. I know about her brother, who may or may not have his own book at some point. I have another idea, too, brewing, and THAT one is tugging at me.

I have lots of ideas. If I want to write them all, I’d better get moving.

Shower now. Maybe coffee. Certainly some cereal. And today, I’m going to write even more than I did yesterday.

I hope.

M
PS– my musical selection at the moment is

UPDATE: GAHHHHH! BUS DID NOT COME MUST DRIVE CHILD TO SCHOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL

GAHHHHHHH

Exercised, which was good. Made coffee in my new maker, to replace the one that broke. Also good.

Wrote! Very good! But didn’t write enough. Was stalled a little bit. Sort of playing around with where the story’s going, what it wants to be…this one has no contract or deadline and I have the tiniest bit of time to work on it before I really have to buckle down and write contracted stuff, so I’m trying to finish. Halfway through, sort of have an idea of where it’s going and not sure exactly how I’m going to get there. Still, all good!

Laundry. Never a good time, but necessary.

And there’s been about five hours between when I started this and just now, with a whole lot of stuff in between, so I shall say goodnight and pick this up another time.

M

On the one hand, I’m sort of consumed by the pretty, pretty, but on the other…I just don’t know. It’s a little too soft rock for my general musical tastes (though I love boys playing guitars, that’s more like folk or acoustic than soft rock) and the video is…

It’s manipulating me, that’s what it is!

DAMN YOU BARROWMAN with those pretty eyes and that pretty smile and that sexy fireplace!

M

Look at this! It’s Naked in Italian. How cool is that? And it’s coming out so soon after the American release…I don’t think that’s happened before. For me, that’s very exciting.

You know what else is exciting? I get extra copies of my foreign releases and don’t need to keep them all! What does this mean for you?

Well…If you’re Italian and would like signed copies of a few of my books, or if you’re French — cuz I have a few of those, too, I will send them to you!

I have four sets of books to give away. What you need to do is email me at readinbed@meganhart.com with FRENCH or ITALIAN in the subject — and include your mailing address, so I can ship out your package. Obvs, you need to live in either Italy or France or otherwise prove to me why you should get a copy of books in French or Italian if you’re living someplace else.

** I DO NOT HAVE COPIES OF NAKED IN ITALIAN! SORRY**

So…four French winners, four Italian winners will get copies of my books in those languages. First four! So if you’re French or Italian and you want some signed books, email me.

M

EDITED TO ADD: Some confusion over my email address: READINBED @ GMAIL.COM

That will get you to me.

PPS — ITALIAN TITLES ARE GONE!

Still have one set French books left…c’mon French readers! Here’s your shot…

Fuhrealzies, babe!

So a while ago, I got the most awesome fan letter, written by hand on pretty stationary with a fancy pen, in homage to my January 2010 release, SWITCH. (The heroine, for those who don’t know, loooooooves stationary. Me too!) I was so touched by that letter, it was so great to get not just a hand written note — but one that was hand written simply because of something I’d written! I loved it!

Then…just a few days ago…I got this:

Pretty ridiculously rad, amirite?

Not only was it hand written, but it came on a funky Patrick Bateman themed notecard!!! YESSSSSSS! And the letter part of it? SWEET. Referencing face rides and whatnot. LOVED IT.

So, here’s the thing.

I want to start spreading the love.

If you send ME a letter or a little package of something — doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I love the Dollar Tree! Or it could just be a note, a hand drawn photo, etc. A sticker! (No food, though, because I wouldn’t eat strange food that comes in the mail!)

You send something to me, and I’ll send you something back! It might be some bookmarks, a postcard, a funky set of stickers, a zany band…who knows? It could just be a hand drawn picture.

I draw the line at poetry written in blood on paper woven from your hair, and please please PLEASE…no photos of yourself without clothes on…I mean, people, let’s honestly be classy here.

You send something to me, I’ll send something to you. How fun is that?!

My address: Megan Hart

P.O. Box 4

Cornwall, PA 17016

There you go! Have at it! I make no promises on the amount of time for a reply or the contents of your envelope. Be creative! Have fun!

Hope to hear from you soon,

LYLAS,

M

Ok, so I’m here at home, typing away, typing away, when the phone rings. Caller ID tells me it’s my health insurance company calling. I almost don’t answer because what on earth could THEY want, but then I recall the ridiculous expense I just incurred for a test that ultimately turned out to be NOTHING (and for which I have clearly harbored a grudge.) So I answer.

It’s a recording. It asks if I am, in fact, ME and I say, yes. It asks if it can give me an important health message. Again, in an annoyed tone, I say yes.

The recording then tells me it’s very important that I get a PAP smear.

Okay well…that’s an important message, thnks sooo fucking much for interrupting my work to tell me this, something I know, but I guess I could use a reminder since, as the recording helpfully reminds me, getting a PAP is “no fun.” (No Shit.)

But you want to know how to make it better?

GO WITH A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER.

I shit you not, the recording is suggesting that we make PAP smears more fun by doing them as a group. Making “a day” out of it. Oh, hey, mom, how about we hit the shops and btw, let’s get our cervixes scraped, too! Cool! I mean, it’s no mani-pedi, but hey, it could still be fun!

Are you fucking kidding me?

The last thing I want when I’m up on a table with my lady bits being probed and scraped is a FRIEND or FAMILY MEMBER there. It’s not like getting a couples massage, FFS. Ok, let me strike that. THE LAST thing I want when I’m having my annual womanly exam is a HOT YOUNG INTERN looking at my stretchmarks and giving me a breast exam while he asks what I do for a living and I say “I write novels.” “What kind?” “…erotic.”

*beat of silence in which he manipulates my breasts and we both pretend he’s not actually touching my boobs while I say this*

AND YES THAT HAPPENED.

So.

Insurance company? Next time you call me, I’m totally not going to answer. Because not only did you take up five minutes of my precious time, I have now wasted another ten in my outrage and typing up this blog post.

Carry on, ladies and gentlemen. CARRY THE FUCK ON.

M

SPAM is totally getting really creative these days. I have no idea how WordPress figures out it’s spam, but whoo, boy howdy, it’s catching some good stuff!

SPAM BE GONE!

M

I’d just like to formally and officially thank everyone who supports the arts community by purchasing not only my books, but also the books of my friends, and even people I don’t like. I’d like to thank you for purchasing the books of people I’d rather see fall in a mud puddle than have a conversation with. I want to thank you for buying books, buying music, buying movies. Because you are the reason why we’re all able to continue doing what we do, which is also, at least in my case, what we love.

Thank you to everyone who buys or legally borrows my books.

Because I don’t care if you get it new, or from a used bookstore, or borrow from a friend or the library, or pick up a copy someone tossed in the trash.

I do care, however, that lots and lots and lots of people think it’s okay to upload the digital files of my work and “share” them illegally with thousands of people. And I do care that “fans” post on forums with topics like “can you please send me Megan Hart’s Everything Changes” or “thanks for uploading the entire Megan Hart collection” or “can you please send me the ebook for Megan Hart’s new release.” Please love me a little less, okay? Thanks.

I want things I can’t afford all the time. I just don’t steal them to get them.

M