1. Say my name over and over, not necessarily with anything following it. Also say my name in front of every statement. Or just say my name randomly, until I scream “WHAAAAAAT DO YOU WANT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY WHAAATTTTT!!!!”

2. Ask me the same question more than once. Oh, you can try to change the wording slightly to try and trip me up, but if it’s the same question, I’m still going to know. Ask me that question more than four times and I will probably refuse to answer it again.

3. Be unable to find something. “I can’t find it!” If I walk to where said item is lurking and either lift something up or move something to the side and find it immediately, I get to smack you. If I have to look a teeensy bit harder, say, oh, in a couple of places, but (here’s the trick) I KEEP LOOKING UNTIL I FIND IT — I get to smack you. The next time you ask me to find it, you’re on your own.

4. Make me ask you to do something more than once. Or maybe twice. Just because you ask me the same question over and over doesn’t mean I like to repeat myself. If I ask you to either do something or NOT do something, you’ve got two times to make it happen (or stop doing it) before I get testy. After that, the more times I have to ask you to finish the task or to stop doing whatever it is that’s making me nuts, the more ticked off I’m likely to become. It ain’t pretty.

5. Give me no space. Physically, emotionally, whatever. Cling to me like a limpet and I’m going to scrape you off. Hugs are fine from a select few and have a time limit. Don’t hang on me. Give me room to breathe or I get cranky. And I don’t mean just physically, as in personal space, I mean all around.

6. Talk to me when clearly, I am writing. I won’t pay attention to you anyway, so just wait.

7. Ask me to do something for you when clearly I am in the midst of doing something else. I am only one person. I have only two hands. I am a champion multitasker but I have limits.

8. Expect me to serve you. Umm…no. Seriously? No.

9. Try to manipulate me by being passive aggressive AND think I won’t notice. Yeah. I’m smarter than that. Ask me straight out what you want to know or what you want me to do: it’s not a guarantee you’ll get it but at least I won’t be twice as determined not to do what you want.

10. Touch my face. Just don’t do it.

11. Eat off my plate or (even worse) drink from my beverage. Unless I offer (which I probably won’t!)

12. Expose your intolerance through crude jokes or statements and expect me to go along with you.

13. Walk very slowly in front me while I’m trying to get somewhere. Stop frequently.

Man, I feel cranky today!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)